last week I woke to the news of the Orlando shooting – as we all did. and I felt out of sorts and shaken – as we all did. I wanted to cancel this shoot to hide under the blankets of my bed and cry – as many of my sensitive friends said they also did. I’m for showing up for commitments, and I’m for canceling to care for yourself. but, something inside me knew that, in this instance, to cancel was to let fear win. and so I put on my Sunday’s best and drove to the country club where I gave this guy a bottle at brunch. cnn played above my head – the violence at once so near and far. and afterward we went out in the grass where he felt, for perhaps the first time, the unbridled delight of fresh grass between his hands and feet. and for 20 minutes, as I zoomed in on his eyes and eyelashes, hair and hands, all was right in the world again.